• Friendship

    Check on the Mom Wearing Lipstick

    Last month the world lost another beautiful woman. She was a wife and mother. She was kind, upbeat, smiling, and generous. The preschool moms watched as she ran circles around the rest of us, volunteering, coordinating and simply “making things happen.” Even after my family moved on to a different community, we were able to stay connected through social media. I, like many, were surprised when her death announcement addressed her struggle with postpartum depression. Her social media posts portrayed happiness and perfection, never indicating that she was suffering.  I think of my own bout with postpartum depression. At the time I discounted it as the chaos of moving across…

  • Parenting

    You’re a Mess, But We All Are

    You’re a mess, but you’re among good company. Although we like to think of ourselves as a unique being, unlike any other, the reality is the same things haunt most of us having a human experience. You’re a borderline disaster, truly. But, we all are.  This motherhood thing is fulfilling and lovely, but also challenging and exhausting. Adulting is certainly not for the weak. There are not enough hours in the day to balance being a partner, a friend, daughter, mother, co-worker, good neighbor and still leave a little extra to keep ourselves well. Several years ago, we relocated across the country with a four-month-old, twenty-two-month old, third and fourth…

  • Parenting

    I Think It’s Important For My Kids to Fail — Even Though It Kills Me, Every Time

    One of the greatest challenges (among many) I face in motherhood is watching my kids fail, be lonely, hurt or discouraged. When I heard the quote, “A mother is only as happy as her most unhappy child,” it resonated so deeply with me that I have repeated it no less than 10,000 times among my mom friends.  Thank goodness I partnered with a person who has the stomach to watch our kids fall flat on their faces and get up again, trusting they will be better for it. Some day my kids will be overwhelmed with appreciation for a man who kept their mother from strategically entwining them in emotional…

  • Parenting

    Boycott Mom Shaming

    Mom-shaming begins as far back as conception of our little people. “Did you conceive naturally? Did you go through fertility treatments? Use a surrogate? Adoption?” It continues through birth. “Did you get an epidural? C-section? Homebirth?” The choices moms are judged on continue well into our children’s young adulthood. From how we discipline to the number of colleges Jimmy is going to visit; the opportunities of other’s opinions are never ending. So, in this world of social media and unguarded opinions about everything, motherhood and the vast field of options we have during this journey, have left us open for even more mom-shaming and judgment from the outside. It’s unhealthy…

  • Health

    One Year, One Word

    The January Hangover is a real thing. After months of planning, executing and surviving another magical holiday season, it ends like a down on a thistle. The kids are crazy-eyed, over-sugared and one sibling-rivalry away from a complete meltdown. And parents are left holding a lawn waste bag filled with hours of wrapping paper labor.  The Christmas lights need to come down in temperatures no less than 30 degrees colder than when they were put up. The loose Styrofoam that protects the sweet nativity looks like snow as the scene comes out of the box and like anthrax when it gets put away.  For a majority of us, the last…

  • Parenting

    My Goal For This School Year Is To Not Be In Such A Hurry All The Time

    During my current season of life, Mother Of School-Aged Children, Fall signifies new beginnings. It’s a time filled with hope for organized calendars, healthy packed school lunches, and taking control of our lives after they’ve seemed to morph into an out-of-control frat house by August. All things seem possible in the early Fall. I plan hot breakfasts served each morning with a smile to children with equally enthusiastic attitudes. I envision making Halloween costumes that would put any Pinterest post to shame. Perhaps this year I will be the class mom for all four children, start that yoga class, give Whole30 a whirl, train for a marathon, and finish poor…

  • Parenting

    Things No One Told Me About Motherhood

    No one can fully prepare you for motherhood. Not books, not your mother, not your wise experienced friends. There is no instruction manual. However, here are a few warnings I wish I knew before embarking on the wild ride of mommyhood. Early Motherhood is Wet – I do not remember a dry moment when my kids’ were babies. Not one that lasted more than 20 minutes. And NO ONE warned me it would be countless hours of laundry. Leaking breast milk, watery and yellow poo, spit up, pee, and mashed bananas.  Early motherhood is wet.  Enough said. You Will Never Sleep Again – You think I’m kidding? I think the…